During a critical conversation with my boss the other day I was told that I am perceived around the office as being, “a bit of a diva.” Well you got me there, I thought. In fact, I suspected the words he chose, “a bit of a diva” were deliberately understated to soften the delivery. If that’s as strong as the perception truly is then I’d say people around work don’t really know me at all. You want to see a diva, I can give you a Capital D to the IVA.
I pledged to attempt to work harder at developing interpersonal relationships with people around the office, and my clients. He went on. He used the word “aloof”– a word I detest. I explained what others perceive as being aloof is really just being guarded. I’m careful, I’m diplomatic, I’m professional. I guess that comes off to some people as entitled snobby little punk. Oh well I guess, if the stiletto fits . . .
After having a relaxing weekend away from the daily grind, spent in my true element preparing pieces to show in a fantastic art and fashion show this summer, creating and dreaming and reveling in the glittering colorful beautiful world inside my head, I emerged Monday morning with a wonderfully renewed sense of self. The perhaps unfortunate byproduct of this renewal, however, being that I realized I don’t much care what people at the office think of me.
In general, I don’t care all that much what anyone thinks of me anyway. Sure I like to be liked, but not being liked doesn’t have any effect whatsoever on how much I like me. I did say that I’ll try to “reach out” more at work, and I will, but I’m certainly not going to bend over backwards to make people see me as any less of a diva. If anything, they better be ready to see more of one. At one point in that horribly awkward conversation with my boss I did explain that the momentum I’m building with Shameless Glamour (which they are thankfully supportive of) is so exiting for me that I am likely to feel a little extra empowered and a little extra confident as things continue to blossom for me in that area of my life. That’s likely to make me act even more diva-esque.
Truthfully, I can hardly wait for the day when Shameless Glamour is ready to become my full time gig and I no longer have to have a “day job.” This is after all the dream of every small time entrepreneur in the beginning. Holding on to that dream is what gives me the strength to get up every week day and go to my boring thankless job.
The message that I have to share through my creations, through my REAL work, is one that by its nature, creates divas. Divas of all shapes and sizes and colors and orientations. Those are the people who wear my designs. Those are the people who know me. Those are the people I want to spend time around. Fellow artists and craftspeople. Lovers of all things sparkly. My Shameless Diva Nation.
If through my art I inspire even one little girl or boy to hold their head up high, rock some rhinestones and be the diva they were born to be, even if people will call them “aloof” or “snobby” or any of a hundred other things a diva can be called by people who don’t understand them, then it will be more than worth not having a lot of friends in the business world. The business world doesn’t get me. It doesn’t get any of us. But honestly, would we want it to? I’d say the business world better watch who it calls a bit of a diva, because it could be worse. I’m guessing if someone has an issue with me not asking about their day before I make a request of them, then they really wouldn’t like me walking around wearing a crown and a rhinestone encrusted corset in the office every day . . . and that could be arranged.