Preparation . . . Trepidation . . . Palpitations

So my second stab at being a real Designer and producing an actual runway show is about to unfold tomorrow. I'll be showing at Sugar does Portland, which is set to be much bigger and sexier and louder than Sugar does Seattle was in July, so I'm super duper excited, and equally as nervous. I put everything I had into this collection over the past month (as well as a couple hundred dollars that I DIDN'T have's worth of fabric, rhinestones and hot glue) and its finally finished and ready to show. I have been completely freaking out for the last three or four days thinking I wasn't going to make it with things still in pieces and missing trims and zippers . . . all the while my brain was running in a million directions at once and instead of focusing on completing my finishing touches, I keep getting sidetracked adding new pieces and working on non-essential things like a pair of shoes for moi to wear at the event. Of course, after completing one shoe and seeing how absolutely frikin amazeballs it was, I had to move finishing the shoes over to the essential column, and I did stay up til about 3 am last night making sure those shoes are runway ready. Cinderella and Dorothy got nothin on me. *snap*

I actually love it when the creative process takes me places like that where I completely didn't expect it to go. Like how the last afterthought piece that I just threw together to fill out the line up could somehow end up being my favorite look in the collection. Or how I struggled to figure out which look to put on which models from a group of mostly first time runway models with wildly varied heights and measurements none of whom I've worked with before, but came to the conclusion that the mix of talent and variety and experience levels is actually going to create something truly magical. I had set a goal after the last Sugar show that the next time I did a runway collection it would have more cohesion and a clear vision. I think I have accomplished that goal. I think it will look amazing and tell a story and I'm so excited to share it with the world!

After I get through this show, its back to focusing on everything else I should have been doing this month that got put on hold so I could do this collection. Like writing my business plan and working on presentation materials for my pitch to beg for start up capital for Lime Light, paying my bills and being a wife, a daughter, a sister and a beauty queen.

I'm actually off to kind of a rocky start in the beauty queen department again in 2012. Chalk it up to being out of practice, I guess, but I'm just not quite back into the swing of it yet. OK, who am I kidding, I never really was all that great at it in the first place, but I had also set a goal that if I did this pageant again, I would really commit and do it right this time. So, I plan to start getting out there and representing Snohomish County and spreading the word about preventing chemical injury a little later this month with a visit to the Health Fair being held at Providence Medical Center here in Everett. They are having an open house to show off their new fancy scmanchy hyperbaric chambers, which I have to say, are kind of cool. I'll just kind of choose to forget that January was pretty much a wash as far as making public appearances with full-on crown and sash.

I did make it out to Girl Power Hour's Go Red for Women event the Friday before my Mom was scheduled to have a pacemaker installed, so I was admittedly a little distracted and a little extra emotional at that particular event. I'm happy to report though, that my Mom did great, and she is now bionic. She has always been the strongest, wisest, most caring woman I know, and now she is stronger, faster, better than ever.

My Mom has always been the perfect role model, the perfect example of what I would want to be if I do make the choice to become a mother someday. She instilled in me my strong sense of self and always encouraged my creativity. I was extremely relieved and happy to celebrate Women's Heart Health Month with Mom, who can now call herself a survivor (and a cyborg)!

A little known fact about my Mom, is that she wanted to be a Fashion Designer when she was a teenager. She was on the bigger side, so she taught herself how to sew so that she could have clothes that were in fashion because she couldn't buy in them off the rack. She never became a Designer, but now her daughter is following in her dreams. This strange twist of fate actually gave me the idea for a pair of paintings that I am hurriedly finishing tonight on a complete inspiration binger. As if I needed one more thing to have to finish before I leave for Portland tomorrow at 7:00 am, but this kind of inspiration comes from God, its a gift. You can't ignore it, and you can't turn it off. The only way to get rid of the feeling it gives you is to create what its telling you to create, it has to come out. I only took a break to throw down a blog entry because I needed to wait for a layer of paint to dry. I'm so thankful to have my Mom as my example and to have learned everything that I have from her. Now back to painting and packing.

Wish me luck, readers, and I'll see you all after the show!